"In Search of Me" - Part One

As a starting point I’ll like to ask you these simple, funny but highly important questions:

Who are you?

Do you really know yourself well?

Are you clear about what you want in life?

Do you have a sense of purpose?

What defines you?

What makes you happy?

If you stop to think for a second, you may find that you have answered “no” or “don’t really know” to most of the questions above.

If that's rge case, then hang on and continue reading.

You may ask why?

Well, you are not alone.

It may also be that while you are happy with some parts of your life, there are many parts that you do not like. Not being happy overall with your life is an indication of a disconnection with your inner Being, and as much as I know, that will be helpful to address.

Up till now, it is very possible that you have no clear idea of who you really are. In all likelihood, it only shows you’ve not spent enough time getting to know yourself. Perhaps, a greater proportion of your time is spent on working long hours, in a job that you have no love for, comparing yourself with the Joneses, putting up a false front or complaining about other people’s behaviour. Your mind is just too preoccupied with distracting thoughts. If anything else, these are some of the stuffs that you hope to be defined by (at least it is true of me😄): a big house, BMW, and designer labels like Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton.

Unfortunately, not knowing yourself well can result in a meaningless and unhappy existence. You have no charge of who You really are. You allow your emotions and decisions to be externally dictated because you have no clear idea about what your inner values, core beliefs and goals are. Instead, you adopt the values, core beliefs and opinions of your friends, colleagues or parents, as your own. You have no clue about what your personal boundaries are, even if they have been violated. While others can count on you for support, you are not sure that you can count on yourself.

How self discovery is related to the law of attraction is obvious. If you have no clear idea of who you are, you will have no clarity in what you want or seek. You send mixed signals out to the Universe. Your intents keep changing by the day.

One day, you may wish dearly for a job promotion and be the best Software Engineer in town. Then, the next day, you may wish to go back to your first love – writing. On the third day, you decide that running a drop shipping website selling luxury watches sounds appealing.

Because some of your intents cancel each other out, the net energy vibration for your true desire is of a lower frequency. By the Law of Attraction, it will be hard to “attract” the outcomes that you want because your intention is not strong and focused enough.

What I have tried to do with this piece is to expose to you the inevitability of self discovery to fulfilment and self actualization. I will expose certain "road blocks" that might hinder this discovery and how to overcome these hurdles.

I have great confidence in the information provided and I will enjoin you to make the best use of all the pieces of information here.

Read on.

ROAD BLOCKS ON THE PATH OF SELF DISCOVERY

So, ask yourself if the following is true of you:

1. FEAR OF FINDING “DEMONS”

You fear the process of examining your life under a microscope. You are afraid of discovering that there can be demons in the closet. What terrifies you is that in the process of self discovery, you can come to the conclusion that you are worthless. Or that you are not very likable. Rather than put yourself in pain, you would prefer to stay unaware about these demons and pretend that everything is fine.

From young, you are also taught to appear strong: don’t cry or display signs of weakness. You are warned that consequences of appearing weak or emotional or needing help can be severe, because you’ve observed that only those that appear strongest survive. You believe that there is no place for weepy Souls on this planet if you want to get ahead in life.

“I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it–and that’s all I got.” Sabrina Ward Harrison.

By acknowledging who You really are, you are afraid that others may find that out the same truths too. You fear losing their friendships. Hence, you prefer that others do not know about any signs of vulnerability or weakness that you have. It can be hard to admit that you are not all that great, especially if you are holding a leadership position. Your ego is at stake here. You prefer to put on a mask rather than be your true authentic Self.

When you avoid the process of self discovery, you are basically in denial of the real You. You appear to be functioning but simmering underneath, are your sabotaging thoughts and beliefs. Because you have never confronted your demons, they are still very much alive. You may not realise it but they are probably the reasons why success has eluded you or why you have never been truly happy.

Does that sound like you?

2. LACK OF SELF LOVE

You may have never been taught to love yourself, from young. How can it be possible to love and accept yourself, if you have been handed more criticisms than encouragement? So you have grown up, not really knowing who you really are or what your strengths are.

There has never been a need to, in any case. Since it has always been about others. You crave for social acceptance. It would seem far better to adopt traits, ideas and behaviors of people who are popular and those whom you choose to emulate. You believe that there is nothing worthy within to find out, based on your low sense of Self.

Are we still together?

3. THE BELIEVE THAT IT IS BEST TO STIFLE YOUR CREATIVITY AND DREAMS

You have also been taught that it is best to stifle your dreams. “It’s easier to make a living on an Economics degree than on a degree in design,” you were told at the age of 7. You were taught to choose a career choice based on what would be more financially viable by industry standards than your own personal likes and natural inclinations. Even while you have an innate talent for art, you came to the conclusion that it is best not to develop it.

As you grow older, you have fewer and fewer dreams. After all, dreams seldom come true, you say. You allow your dreams – which are essentially a reflection of your inner desires – to die!

“Dreams are illustrations…. from the book your soul is writing about you."

Marsha Norman quotes (American Playwright and Dramatist won Pulitzer (1983) for her play Night Mother. b.1947

This is definitely getting interesting, I'm sure !

4. TOO MUCH NOISE

There is so much noise and stress in your life, that there is hardly any time for self discovery. You lead a busy lifestyle, with important datelines to fulfill and schedules that need to run like clockwork. You simply do not have the time to find answers that may or may not result in paying the bills for you. You would rather continue life as before. If you have been functioning so far, why rock the boat?

In your environment, you may find that what thrives are mindless gossips, unfair comparisons, snide remarks, and thoughtless comments. If your thoughts are filled with these mental defilements, it will be hard to find the space for more loving and kind thoughts. The process of self discovery is not just about finding negatives about yourself. It is also about finding love for yourself and nurturing yourself.

In the next edition, I will be exposing various ways of clearing these roadblocks that have been itemized here...

Keep your fingers crossed and watch this space. The journey to self discovery is definitely worth the while.

Love y'all.