"In Search of Me" - Concluding Part.

In the previous part, I exposed to us certain road blocks on the road to self discovery. In this edition, I will be shedding lights on some of the various ways of clearing these roadblocks.

Read on.

1. FACE YOUR DEMONS.

Understandably, examining your life under a microscope can be a discomforting and an unpleasant exercise.

I know that.

I have been through it.

However, you will be grateful for starting the process of self discovery, because rewards unfold when you know more about yourself.

You need to confront your emotional issues and weaknesses, because they reveal the separation from the real You. The real You is an authentic, loving and nurturing self. However, these negative parts add destructive layers to your Being, causing you distress and disharmony.

Negative beliefs tend to pervade every aspect of your life. If you have feelings of low self worth, then you are likely to carry them in the relationships you have at home, in the office, with your friends, relatives and loved ones.

If you find yourself coming up short, do not beat yourself up either. Instead, understand the separation and see if you can make improvements to your behavior, thoughts and emotions. Uncovering answers will help peel off layer-by-layer the negative thoughts that have been imprinted in your mind since ages ago. These negative thoughts and beliefs have been your obstacles to inner growth. Learn to forgive yourself. When your outer Self is aligned with your inner Being, you will feel happy and free!

2. RECOGNISE YOUR STRENGTHS.

The process of self discovery is not just about unearthing nasty stuff about yourself. It is also about honoring your strengths and abilities. As you become more aware of what you are good at, you lessen the list on weaknesses. You need to learn to love yourself.

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, “I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.”

Mariah Carey quotes (American Singer. b.1970, New York,USA)

Usually, your position of strengths come from your interests and hobbies. List down activities that you enjoy currently or have enjoyed in the past. Find out what makes your heart sing. Find out what keeps you excited. Find out what inspires you. These are the things that define You.

3. ASK YOURSELF: WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?

It is important to ask yourself what you want out of life and work towards it. Having a purpose that connects to your inner Being is fulfilling. Without a purpose and direction, you are going to feel like a ship which is going nowhere. I can assure you that if you don’t go through this process of evaluation on what your purpose is, you are going to experience regret while on your deathbed.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”

Robert Byrne

Start by listing down everything you would like to achieve. The one that stands out is the one that has made you cry or that has resonated best with you. You may also want to use the opportunity to consider your life goals in all aspects: physical, mental and spiritual.

4. CLARIFY YOUR CORE VALUES.

In the questioning process, ask yourself what your personal values are. Core values will be things like compassion, honesty, love, kindness, loyalty, etc. Clarifying your core values will give you an exact picture of who You are.

It is important your actions are supported by your core values and fundamentals. If not, you will find yourself in self sabotage. The ability to reach your highest potential is severely curtailed!

5. FIND INSPIRATION FROM THINGS AROUND YOU

Self improvement books have been particularly helpful for me, in discovering more about myself. They include Law of Attraction books, Conversations with God by Neale Donald Waslch; In Understanding Ego, Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. These books prompt me to ask questions about myself and how I would want to live my life. Hence, if you still find it difficult to know yourself, look for books and coaches for help.

Being with Nature is also a good idea. You tend to connect better to your inner Being, when you are more relaxed. The answers that you seek, while in a state of mental relaxation, surface more easily.

6. SPEND TIME ALONE.

To know a person, is to spend time with him or her. In the same manner, to build a relationship with yourself, you need to spend time getting to know more about yourself. You cannot know Yourself well, if you are surrounded by lots of noise, friends and family, or if you are always preoccupied in your mind and with things to do.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance"

Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

To kick start the process of self discovery, it may be a good idea to go on a retreat. This is especially if you find it hard to think clearly amidst the everyday mayhem that is going on in your life. To know yourself intimately, make an exclusive date – away from your spouse or partner, kids, colleagues, boss and parents.

Time alone to meditate and reflect is productive time. You cannot expect to function well physically everyday, if you are out of balance in other aspects such as mentally and spiritually. Very importantly, consider putting aside “me” time on a regular basis. For myself, I choose to spend “me” time meditating, reading books or simply just Be.

7. JOURNALLING.

You can get to know yourself better through the process of journaling. Consider starting a blog. Write about your likes and dislikes, and reactions to your various experiences. As you write, you are connecting to your deeper Self. Your posts can provide much needed clues about your emotions, strengths, weaknesses and areas that you never knew about yourself. They provide an opportunity for you to heal and grow.

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.”

Orison Swett Marden

As I draw the curtains on this piece, I am sure it is best to stress that Self discovery is not an event, it is a journey.

Self discovery is not an a one-day or a one-week affair. In fact, it can take a lifetime of building a relationship with yourself. Also, do note that your inner Self is not going to stay constant either. You are evolving all the time. Based on your self discovery at any point in time, you make conscious decisions for changes. Additionally, as you mature, you gain insights that make up the New You.

You become clearer and clearer, in the intent that you sent out to the Universe. Because this intent is in perfect alignment with the real You, you do not experience any conflict or sabotage. The energy vibration of your intent is pure, untainted and strong. By the Law of Attraction, you attract the very thing that resonates well with your Being.

In conclusion, the more you know yourself, the more empowered you are going to be. A clear self understanding results in renewed confidence, centeredness and strength. You live purposely and are truly happy.

I wish you all the best on your quest of finding you!

Cheers!